So Goodbye 2010

Ive never really moaned about a year before. people go on about how shit their years was and how the next will be better and ive always thought it was bollocks. Until now … 

2010 really was the worse year of my life so far…

• I nearly died, spent weeks in and out of hospital and to this day still cant breathe properly. I got severe asthma, which is the bain of my life. I now get shitty attacks that hurt like fuck and ive been on stupid steroids which means im the size of a house.
• I missed so much school that im now having to resit all my modules = so much revision that i stress out and end up having an attack :|
• I lost Chloé. That was the hardest thing i think i have ever done. I think about her every day. You see, I’ve had family members die before. But that has been through old age or an illness. To loose someone because they cannot bare to be alive any more, because they chose to go is the hardest thing I have ever had to come to terms with. She is also the closest cousin i had in age, which messes with your head because you realise your are not invincible, you can die.
• I lost little ….. that nearly killed me.
• Josh left me. I thought that would end me. I honestly thought me and him would last forever. I feel stupid writing that now, but I did. He was my world, my every waking thought. I would of took a bullet for him without a seconds thought. You see, he was my life, i would have done anything for him. But he broke my heart, now I know what its like to feel hurt. To feel such deep pain. I actually ached for ages, physically ached inside. 

Yes there were some good points to last year

• France
• V festival
• Turning 18
• The gigs

And of course in the last few days I got with Matt.

But what I’m saying is that 2010 was a life changing year. I’ve grown up in so many ways its scary. But I know im stronger now.

So hears to 2011, heres to:

• Lilly being born
• Passing my driving test
• Leaving sixth form
• Starting uni
• Being with matt

And whats more is heres to no more expectations, because when you expect things you can be let down. And when you dont then you cant get hurt, only surprised.